Draft script

Letter to BBFC

BBFC research

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Genre & Target Audience (SKINS)

Feedback on my 6 ideas

Charlie Hall- 
Feedback on the 'The River Cam' Pitch:

Like the initial idea of the documentary film and think the pitch could m be improved slightly to then make a better final film. Things such as:
- Filming other punters
- Following a journey of one punter, eg the tours one punter takes each day or over the course of a week. 
- Filming some time-lapse shots to use as cutaways.
- Cutaways of colleges, parts of town that are well known.
- People walking around town, ask them their opinion on the punts and the punting business. 

Sophie-

I like idea of the documentary overall but there are some minor things that could be added, such as filming a range of other punters getting different views of it, cutaways of different places around the location or just people walking in general around, or maybe follow one of the punters to see what happens.

Based on feedback, how can I improve my initial idea?
In able to improve my ideas i need to show a diverse group of people giving their own personal view on the river from punters, to touts, to managers. I also need to show the life briefly not on the river so that the audience can see the different between the river and city life. A lot of the feedback included more cutaways so that the viewer doesn't get bored of someone talking throughout the whole shot. I will include cutaways such as: tour guides punting past, touts spinning boards, people walking past ect. I thin going back to Charlies point, I need to show places that are well know in cambridge so that the place is recognisable; the market square, st mary's church, 3 red telephone boxes. I think by placing these elements into my documentary I will make a final video that will look good and be liked by the viewers.

Pulp Fiction Diagram